


on the outside (always looking in)

by six6string



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Gen, found this in my drafts and decided to finish it so, wally has many Thoughts and not all of them are happy, what if wally became dr fate au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:53:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29279502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/six6string/pseuds/six6string
Summary: Wally West is fifteen when he first puts on the Helmet of Fate.
Relationships: Artemis Crock & Wally West, Dick Grayson & Wally West, Kent Nelson & Wally West, Nabu & Wally West
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	on the outside (always looking in)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this fan art: https://www.deviantart.com/croaky/art/Dr-Fate-Kid-Fate-371309798

Wally West is fifteen when he first puts on the Helmet of Fate.

He doesn’t believe, right now, that Nabu is truly a Lord of Order. He doesn’t believe in magic or mystics or the supernatural. He’s just desperate. Klarion is powerful, way too powerful for Kid Flash to take on alone. Wally’s out of options, so he raises the golden helmet above his head and slides it down over his ears, and in that very moment he knows that he’s made a mistake.

Nabu is powerful beyond comprehension. Wally can only stand by, trapped in some kind of mental space, as his body raises its arm and blasts an ankh of bright yellow light at the witch boy. His body and Klarion fight, and Wally feels a sense of detachment, like he’s watching himself on film. He watches as Nabu fights off Klarion, driving him away. For now. Because while he’s wearing the helmet, Wally knows what Nabu knows, and Nabu is sure that they haven’t seen the last of the witch boy and his cat. 

Suddenly, Wally is standing in a room with two other people. An elderly man dressed in a nice suit is arguing with a large, muscular man in plain white ancient looking battle dress. A golden helmet covers the younger man’s head. 

“You must let him go!” The older man is saying. Wally has a feeling that they might be talking about him, but he can’t be sure. He feels like he’s dreaming, floating through his own personal Wonderland.

“The world needs Dr. Fate. I need a human host.”

“Then choose a willing person. Let the boy go. He’s only a kid! He still has so much he can do with his life!”

“There are no other suitable hosts around, and I will not let the boy take off the helmet and forget whatever promises he makes. No. The world is in need of Dr. Fate. The boy is a good enough host.”

“Why not take an adult? Someone who has already had a chance to live out their life?”

“The boy is fine. He is strong. I fear I will not be able to use another host as well as I can use him. You will not change my mind, Kent.”

The older man sighs. He knows that he’s lost this argument. “Then let me stay with him for a few years. Guide him for a while. He is still young, and he needs a teacher.”

Nabu considers this proposition. “Fine.” He replies. “I see no issues with such an arrangement.”

Wally steps out towards them. They both turn to look at him, the older man looking slightly guilty, and the younger man looking impassive. Not that Wally can see much of his face, because of the helmet, but his eyes are blank. “What’s going on?” Wally asks. “What is this place?”

“This is your consciousness.” The older man, who Wally realizes must be Kent Nelson, says. “You put on the Helmet of Fate, and Nabu now has control of your body. Watch.” Kent points behind Wally, and suddenly Wally is back to watching that movie-like version of what his body is doing.

Klarion is gone, and Wally smiles. “Yes!” He shouts, pumping his fist in celebration. “We did it! Wait… why isn’t Nabu taking off the helmet?”

Kent shakes his head. “Watch.”

Artemis runs out onto the roof, and Wally feels his heart jerk. She runs up to Nabu, who’s using Wally’s body. “What’s going on? Did Wally put on the helmet?!” She sounds panicked.

Dr. Fate speaks through Wally. “I am sorry, child. He put on the helmet of his own violation.”

“Why is the helmet still on? Why aren’t you taking it off?!” Her voice rises a few octaves with fear.

Fate shakes his head, and that’s all Artemis needs. She lets out a wail, the sort of sound that shouldn’t come from a human body. It tears Wally apart inside, and he would give anything to be able to wrap his arms around her and tell her that it’s going to be alright. 

Kaldur comes out onto the roof now. When he sees Fate, and Artemis crying in front of him, it’s clear in his eyes that he knows what has happened. He goes over to Artemis to comfort her, but she lashes out at him instead, her eyes and face still red from crying.

“How?! How could we let this happen Kaldur? How could Wally let this happen? He knew what would happen if he put on the helmet… he knew the risks… Why?! Why would he do that, if he didn’t even believe in magic?!”

Kaldur kneels down next to her and rests a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Wally did what he did because he knew the risks. Klarion was too strong for him to take on alone; he needed Nabu’s power. He knew when he put on the helmet that there was a chance that he wasn’t going to come back.”

Artemis is still crying when the rest of the team finds them, kneeling on the ground in front of Fate. M’gann stiffens and puts her hands over her mouth, eyes wide with disbelief. Conner looks around for a second, as if he’ll see Wally standing off to the side, laughing and grinning like always, before his eyes alight on Fate. His expression turns furious. “You!” He shouts, and runs towards Nabu, who makes no effort to move away.

M’gann stops him, wrapping her arms around his chest and holding him back. “It’s not going to solve anything.” She whispers, her voice quiet and sad. Conner sags in her embrace, and the fire goes out of his eyes, replaced with a curtain of shadow.

The team stands before Fate in silence for a few minutes, trying to process what has happened. Artemis can’t stop crying, furiously wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her jacket. Kaldur, who’s known Wally the longest, can’t even think. He just sits there like an empty shell, staring off into nothing. Of everyone who could have put on the helmet, why did it have to be Wally? Wally, who doesn’t even believe in magic or the power of Fate?

And then an idea comes to him, and he stands up to face Fate. He steels himself before asking, “Take me instead. Release Wally, and I will put on the Helmet in his place.”

Fate cocks his head in confusion, which is such a Wally-like gesture that Kaldur can’t breathe for a second. “Why?”

“I have sorcery training. I am already familiar with the ways of magic. Wally doesn’t even believe such a thing exists. I would be far better suited to be the host of Fate.”

“No.”

“No?” That’s not the answer Kaldur was expecting.

“The boy-- Wally?-- says no. He says he will not let you sacrifice yourself for him. He made the decision to put on the Helmet. He will accept the consequences.”

“No, no, no.” Kaldur whispers. “This isn’t what’s supposed to happen.”

M’gann comes up and hugs him, and he leans into her embrace. “It’s okay,” she says, “it’s going to be okay.”

They stand like that for a long second, all hope of rescuing Wally from Fate lost. Finally, Artemis says the one thing that they’re all thinking. 

“Oh my God. What are we going to tell Robin?”

\- 

On Wally’s sixteenth birthday, Queen Perdita of Vlatava passes away, despite the best efforts of the doctors. They weren’t able to get a transplant to her in time. He watches the story on the news. The team is gone, out to stop Count Vertigo from taking over the kingdom, but they don’t need Fate for that. So Wally stays behind, watching the hologram screen in the cave through Nabu’s eyes and feeling like he should have done something. Like he could have done something, even though he knows there’s nothing he could have done as Fate. 

-

Wally West is sixteen when Red Arrow is revealed to be a traitor.

Vandal Savage is using bio-tech chips to control members of the Justice League. Fate still stays at the cave, so he wasn’t hit. When a strange message from Batman comes through, Fate is immediately on edge. Batman would never call the team ‘kids’. Especially not him, Nabu. 

Wait. No, he is not Nabu. He is Wally West, as Kent reminds him day after day of being stuck as the host of Dr. Fate.

He wanders off while they are trying to transfer Red Tornado’s consciousness into the ‘John Smith’ body. He finds himself in the trophy room, where a few objects sit on the shelves. A green arrow. Cheshire’s mask. He used to collect them, his souvenirs, before he became Fate. Before he lost control of his own body. 

Suddenly, a scream echoes through the cave, piercing the air. Black Canary… but why? Fate runs back to the main room to find Black Canary attacking the team with her sonic scream. He doesn’t pause to wonder why before he blasts her with a burst of golden energy. She crumples to the ground and he looks up at the rest of the team.

“Are you all right?” It’s Wally’s voice and Nabu’s voice together, and he can still see the rest of the team flinch when they hear it, even though it’s been months. Months of watching and being unable to speak to them as himself. 

“We’re fine,” Robin says, crouching down next to Canary. “But… she just attacked us. I don’t know why.”

Suddenly, an android laying on a bench behind the others sits up. Wally would have jumped, but Fate is completely still as the android begins to speak. “She’s been infected with one of the biochips. I suspect the rest of the league has been as well. We have to get out of here before any more damage can be caused.”

“I will stay here,” Fate volunteers, “I will buy time for your escape.”

“But,” Robin says, “We may need your powers. We have no idea what we could be facing when we get up to the watchtower.”

“I have been watching your team for some time. You function quite well as a unit. I believe my being there will turn out to be more of a hindrance than a help.”

Robin nods, and the team quickly ready themselves before taking the android, which Wally has realized is some sort of version of Red Tornado, and escaping on the Super-Cycle. Wally is left behind, and, although he can understand Nabu’s reasoning, he still feels a little bit betrayed. If he was still Kid Flash, there would have been no hesitation for him to leave with them. Being Fate has taken a far harder toll on him then he had ever thought it would.

Fate waits for about fifteen minutes before another League member shows up. It’s Zatara, and Fate wastes no time taking him out. Zatara’s magical abilities, while quite powerful by human standards, are no match for the powers of a fully fledged Lord of Order. The fight barely lasts a few seconds. After it’s over, Fate drags Zatara’s unconscious body into the infirmary and lays it gently down on one of the beds. Although, that was more Wally, and less Fate. 

After that, he walks into the main room of the cave and pulls up a live video feed from the watchtower. Robin hacked it long ago. He watches the team as they storm the watchtower and try to rescue the League and defeat Vandal Savage. He snarls as he sees Klarion working with the Shadows, playing puppet master with all of the Leaguers. He watches as the team takes them all out one by one, infecting them with the ‘cure-tech’. He watches Conner and Dick team up to take out Superman. He watches his uncle, the Flash, get taken out by Artemis and Aqualad. He wishes he was there. He should have been there.

It’s all over as fast as it began. Wally stands next to Kent in their ‘mind theater’, and watches through Fate’s eyes as the Team successfully saves the Justice League from Savage and his Starro-tech. He watches as the clock strikes midnight. A voice says, “Happy New Year!” He hadn’t even realized what day it was. He watches Zatanna kiss Robin, and the new girl, Rocket, give Aqualad a quick peck on the cheek. He watches Artemis stand there, all alone, and now, more than ever, he wishes he had never had to put on the helmet.

-

Some days he thinks about his family. His mother, his father, Uncle Barry and Aunt Iris. Even Jay Garrick, to an extent. He wonders if they still think about him. If they lay out a place for him at Thanksgiving dinner, if they hang up his stocking at Christmas. If they blame themselves, in some way, for what happened to him. 

He hasn’t seen them since he put on the helmet. He can’t see them, can’t go visit them as Dr. Fate, because he knows that it would hurt them too much. Better to be able to pretend your son is dead than have to face the reality that he’s alive, but you’ll never be able to talk to or see him again. He feels like he’s dead sometimes, like some sort of spirit watching everything unfold from another reality. 

He wishes he could tell his parents he loves them one last time. 

-

Wally West is eighteen when Kent Nelson’s soul is released into the afterlife. It doesn’t happen with much fanfare. One day he’s there, standing next to Wally in the ‘mind theater’, and the next he’s not. Wally doesn’t realize what happened at first. Kent’s disappeared before, for a few hours or a few days, but he’s always come back. He has to come back. It was part of the deal he made when Wally put on the helmet.

After the fourth day without Kent, Wally begins to suspect something isn’t right. He looks around, hoping to find a clue, but there’s nothing in Wally’s sub-conscious that knows where Kent is. Finally, he cups his hands around his mouth and calls out to Nabu.

“Hey! Do you know where Mr. Nelson went?”

This is the first time he’s tried to talk to Fate directly in the almost three years since he became his host. Normally, he just makes an offhand remark to Kent, or Kent says something, and then Nabu decides to join in on their conversation.

“He is no longer here.” Nabu’s voice echoes around the inside of Wally’s head.

“What do you mean he’s not here?”

“I have released him.”

“Released him where? What are you talking about?”

“I have released his soul back into the afterlife. He is with his wife now. It was for the best.”

If Wally still had control over his body, he would have stopped breathing. Kent… gone? He can hardly imagine it. Kent had always fought for him, protected him, guided him through the inner workings of Fate. Kent was the only one who had ever understood what he was going through. And now he was gone? 

Deep down, Wally knew this was going to happen. He knew that Kent wasn’t going to stay by his side forever, but he figured he still had a few more days before that point. After all, he was only eighteen. Who in their right mind would leave a just-turned-adult to physically defend himself from the consciousness of a Lord of Order, one of the forces of the universe, day after day, hour after hour? Who would leave Wally alone to fight such a battle?

It is a full day before he addresses Nabu again. This time, he only asks a simple question.

“Is he happy?”

“I don’t think I understand what you mean.”

“Wherever he is now, do you think he’s happy there? Do you think he’s happy to be free of you and me?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what lies beyond the veil.”

“Well, could you at least try to guess? Mr. Nelson, he was a lot like a father to me. I want him to be happy, wherever he is now.”

Fate is silent for a moment. When he speaks again, something in his voice has changed, like he understands Wally’s question a bit better. 

“Yes, I suppose he probably is.” 

-

Kaldur’s dad is Black Manta. 

Kaldur’s dad is Black Manta, and Kaldur is leaving the team, turning his back on his friends. 

Kaldur’s dad is Black Manta, and suddenly blood is thicker than seawater.

First Wally, and then Roy, and now Kaldur. Wally watches as Dick takes a deep breath, and shoulders the burden of leading the team. Out of the original sidekicks, he’s the only one left. 

-

Wally can’t stop thinking about that night on the beach. He can’t stop thinking about Kaldur rising from the water, dressed in his father’s armor, on the other side from his friends. He can’t stop thinking about Artemis, falling to the ground, lifeless. He can’t stop replaying that scene over and over and over in his head. He wants to cry. He wants to cry but he can’t because of the stupid helmet and the stupid promise and the stupid Lord of Order who is currently inhabiting his body. 

“Fuck,” he whispers, pacing around in the mental… room? Space? Wherever he currently is within the helmet. “Fuck. I… fuck.”

He barely knew her. He barely got to meet her before he put the helmet on, and they spent that whole time arguing and butting heads about the stupidest of things, but he feels like they were more. He spent five years watching her grow. He watched her fight her family, her sister and father, proving that your family does not define you. He watched her become stronger, more confident and self-assured, helping lead the team. He watched and he saw what could have been. He saw himself in another universe, a universe where he didn’t wear the Helmet of Fate. A universe where he was still Kid Flash, and he thought he might have fallen in love with her. 

And then Kaldur… Kaldur who had been his friend from the beginning, good Kaldur, steadfast Kaldur, leader-of-the-team Kaldur went and killed her. Thrust a glowing blade straight through her abdomen, and there was nothing anyone could do. 

Because Artemis was dead by the hand of someone he had once considered his brother. 

Wally feels trapped, Nabu’s power pressing in on him from all sides. Day in, day out, he fights to remember who he is, to keep himself separate from Fate and the helmet. But now, he wants to stop fighting. He wants to stop thinking, to give up, to stop seeing the look in Artemis’s eyes as Kaldur killed her. Betrayed her. 

He’s tired of fighting. But Kent would have wanted him to keep going. So he takes a deep breath, and then another, and tries to find a way to carry on. 

-

Wally West is twenty-one when the Reach attempt to invade Earth. He’s been watching teenagers disappear for months, watching the Team and the League scramble to find them. He wants to help, he wants to be down there on the ground, searching, putting his powers to good use, but he’s stuck doing whatever Dr. Fate is assigned to do. Which is generally not covert ops. 

He’s waiting at the cave when the Team gets back from freeing the teenagers held in the Reach’s underwater base. He watches as they come back battered and bruised. He watches as M’gann breaks down and starts to cry, dropping to her knees in the middle of the room. He wants to go to her, to comfort her, to tell her that whatever it was it wasn’t her fault, but he can’t. La’gaan squats down next to her and puts a hand on her shoulder, saying something softly. M’gann wipes her eyes. 

The team tries to tell the public about what the Reach have been doing, but they’re too late. The Reach have already won over the public, all over television shaking hands with world leaders and promising to share technology and innovations. And that stupid commerial. ‘Reach for a Reach…’ Wally can’t get it out of his head.

He watches as Jaime retreats into himself, fighting with the Scarab’s programming. He’s the only one who notices, because everyone is so busy dealing with everything else, and he wants to say something. He needs to say something. 

“Hey. Nabu.”

“What?”

“I need to tell them something. Can I take off the helmet for a moment?”

“I’m afraid that is impossible. If you take off the helmet, I cannot be sure that you will put it back on.”

“I promise I’ll put it back on. I really need to tell them about Jaime and the Scarab. It’s like, a matter of life and death!”

“I cannot. I’m sorry.”

“Oh come on! You’re an all powerful Lord of Order, or some shit like that! Are you seriously telling me that you can’t let me speak to them for like five minutes?”

“There is nothing you can say that will change my mind.” It’s like fighting with Wally’s dad all over again. Wally can picture him now, standing with his feet apart and arms crossed, looking down at Wally and telling him that, no, he cannot absolutely not, under no circumstances, try to replicate Uncle Barry’s experiment. 

Well, everyone knows how that turned out. 

“Can you at least tell them for me?”

“Hmm… I suppose I could convey a message. What would you like me to say?”

“Tell Dick - Nightwing - to keep an eye on Jaime, see if he starts acting weird. Oh, and tell him that the Scarab is Reach tech.”

“I can do that.”

Wally watches through Nabu’s eyes as Fate delivers the message. Dick’s expression doesn’t change, he just nods curtly and thanks Fate for telling him. 

Wally wishes he was there. He wishes so hard that it feels like his heart is being ripped in two. 

-

A few months later Black Beetle, in a final act of desperation, triggers the Reach’s plan to destroy Earth. Around Wally, everyone scrambles to try and stop it before it’s too late. They end up getting help from Lex Luthor. Lex Luthor, of all people. That’s how desperate everyone is. 

They get paired up and sent around the world to deactivate the Reach’s devices. Dr. Fate is paired with Artemis, and sent to Paris. The device is right by the Eiffel Tower, and they’re able to deactivate it within a few minutes. Wally wants to scoop Artemis up in his arms, twirl her around in celebration, but Dr. Fate doesn’t move.

It’s over. It’s over, and they’ve won, and everything is perfect, and then they hear about Antarctica.

And suddenly everything is the opposite of perfect. 

Fate opens a portal and they’re there within a few minutes. They stumble out onto the tundra, freezing, suddenly aware that they are definitely not dressed for the weather. A few others are there as well. Flash, Impulse, Blue Beetle. 

The device has turned into a cyclone of glowing blue energy. It grows bigger with every second, and even trapped in the helmet, Wally can feel the power radiating from it. It makes his body, Nabu’s body, feel changed, like he just stuck his finger in an electrical socket, but instead of getting shocked, he’s somehow able to channel the energy. 

Flash and Impulse decide that they’re going to try to deescalate the device by running the opposite way around it, to try and counter it out. They run and they run and everyone else watches with bated breath, hoping and praying for the best. They’re fast, much faster than Wally ever was (not that he’s bitter or anything), but there’s only so much they can do between the two of them. 

The plan doesn’t seem to be working. Or rather, it’s working, but it’s not working enough. They need more people running. More speed. 

“Nabu, I need to help them,” Wally says, staring at the cyclone. “I can help them.”

“I cannot let you.”

“You have to! There’s no way they can stop that thing by themselves, but if you add in my speed, we may have a chance!”

“I cannot risk losing Dr. Fate. The world needs me.”

“There won’t be a need for Dr. Fate if the earth gets destroyed! I swear, I swear on my life, on order, on whatever the fuck you need me to swear on, just let me go! Let me help save everyone!”

“... fine.”

And for the first time in six years, Wally takes off the Helmet of Fate.

**Author's Note:**

> does he die? does he live? who knows! not me!
> 
> kudos/comments appreciated :)
> 
> tumblr: @sixstring-guillotine


End file.
